You'll never get mixed up if you simply tell the truth. Then you don't have to remember what you have said, and you never forget what you have said. Sam Rayburn http://www.dailygrail.com/
"The suppression of uncomfortable ideas may be common in religion and politics, but it is not the path to knowledge, it has no place in the endeavor of science." Carl Sagan. "Cosmos" 1980
A Parable while wandering a deserted beach: At dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me. As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea. When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task. He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die. I said to him that I thought he was foolish. there were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach. One man alone could never make a difference. He smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said, "It makes a difference for this one." I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish. Isaac Asimov http://www.dailygrail.com/
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side. Aristotle http://www.dailygrail.com/
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.. Aristotle http://www.dailygrail.com/
Seen in a newsgroup on Usenet: ERROR: Reading Pop-Tart in drive A: Delete kids [y/n]?
Anytime you are feeling stupid, any time you are feeling foolish, remember: Someone, somewhere, is opening an attachment.
You only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.
The time between slipping on the peel and hitting the floor is approximately one bananosecond.
Hard work may not kill me, but why take the chance?
Women are not supposed to snore, burp, sweat or pass gas. Therefore, we must bitch or we will blow up.
I don't believe in intuition, but I believe that some day, I might.
If you keep your head when everyone around you looses theirs, at least you'll be taller.
Beware of the chickens, for in their silence, they plot.
Birds are like PCs, except less fragile and with more feathers.
One of the most helpful stories I heard this week was passed to me by a woman who works with children a lot. She was trying to find ways to explain to them how to deal with terror and anger [this was right after 9/11]. She recounted this story: A native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. he said "I feel as if I have 2 wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered "The one I feed."
The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. Ralph Waldo Emerson http://www.dailygrail.com/
If an alien comes to you and asks, "What is the most important question we can ask humanity and what is the best possible answer you can give?" the safest reply is, "You have just asked the most important question you can ask humanity, and I'm giving you the best possible answer." http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/pc/realitycarnival.html
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
Mitch Hedberg comic, passed away 31 March 2005 Quote of the day at http://www.dailygrail.com/ For more Mitch quotes: http://hometown.aol.com/valleygirl1983/mitch.html
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963) http://www.dailygrail.com/
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. Voltaire http://www.dailygrail.com/
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert A. Heinlein http://www.dailygrail.com/
Quote site: http://www.quotegarden.com/freedom.html
A few quotes from this site: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_freedom.html
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. ~Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759
We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. ~Edward R. Murrow
I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery. ~Author Unknown
When liberty is taken away by force it can be restored by force. When it is relinquished voluntarily by default it can never be recovered. Dorothy Thompson
The broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive
simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be
ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods. It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the
impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and
will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a
fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying. These people know only too well how to use falsehood for the
basest purposes... Adolf Hitler http://www.dailygrail.com/
Mitch Hedberg RIP 3/29/05
Richard Jeni RIP 3/10/07